[repost - i am a cybersquatter]

here is the original blog entry i had made at franticsundays.blogspot.com, reposting it here for posterity as i am taking down the old site (quite appropriately) this sunday.


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i was trying to get my adsense account approved and just received an email from the adsense team over at google.  the message in part reads:


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Thank you for your interest in Google AdSense. Unfortunately, after
reviewing your application, we're unable to accept you into Google
AdSense at this time.

We did not approve your application for the reasons listed below.

Issues:

- Page type

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Further detail:

Page type: Your website is a type of website that we do not currently
accept into our program. Such websites include, but are not limited to,
chat sites, sites that drive traffic through cybersquatting, and sites
that use excessive keywords in the content or code of their pages.



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so initially, i was thinking:  "eh? what the duck?"
i went over what they said in my head:


  • chat site? my blog most certainly is not a chat site (it's a blog with more pictures than words)
  • cybersquatter? surely you jest. the name was available on blogspot, i claimed it first, fair and square, right?
  • excessive keywords? after promising how i was going to post more pics and less words? do i need to relearn what "excessive" means?


so i wrote back, asking the adsense guys, nicely i might add, what's going on? i'm not a chat site, i wont have a lot of words (keywords or any other kind of word, come to think about it) and i most certainly am not a cybersqua--waitaminit.

i did sort of think i was too lucky to have gotten "franticsundays.blogspot.com".  i mean, think about it, it's the perfect name.  it's a play on my name, and it's has a nice sort of twisted/ironic/selfcontradictory ring to it: frantic sunday, sort of like "wet fire", "friendly cat", and "happy funeral".  it hits just the right spot because i had planned to make mostly weekend updates to my blog, and have sundays as my deadline, but sundays are supposed to be the most relaxing time of the week (unless, say, your production server blows up on saturday night because somebody ran a script you wrote), and deadlines are hardly ever relaxing, otherwise, they wouldnt be "deadlines", they'd be more like "suggested compliance dates."  and who complies with suggestions?


so the thought of a frantic sunday was just like, well, mind blowing if you think about it, but you're not supposed to think about it or about anything because in my happy place, all thinking has to stop.

so, "frantic sunday". with just enough passive-aggressive, controlled-panic, subtle-and-brash wordplay action going on, and with just enough coolness to it, it's the perfect name for a blog, right?


which is why i was suddenly worried.  because it was too perfect, and i was too lucky, and it was all too easy.

so i googled it and said, "cmon baby, give me 0 results.  give me a dead link.  heck give me a link to a battered old garden gnome statue someone drunk on too much eggnog thought to name 'franz sundoze'.  just nobody famous. please.  i'm sure nobody's thought of frantic sunday."

and right there, bam.  frantic sunday.


and apparently "they" are a famous swedish band. who knew? certainly not little old me.

i mean, come on, what are the odds that i, a filipino in singapore writing an english blog will come up with a name chosen by a famous swedish band.


at least i was right about it being cool: no band, especially swedish ones, would give themselves an uncool name.


this is a conspiracy.  it has to be.  how else can it happen?  i know nothing swedish (except maybe ikea but that's only because they make good furniture and serve great meatballs but lousy pasta.  i mean, seriously, have you tried the spaghetti at ikea?  that's a great business plan though: you go to ikea, they get you so high on their meatballs that you end up buying their furniture.  it's a plus if you eat their pasta too.  brilliant.) and wouldn't be able to point out where sweden is on a map if my life depended on it.


now, as to who is conspiring with whom to do what where and when, i'll have to have a think about that.

but not before i got to thinking "oh my god.  i'm a cybersquatter."

not that i meant to cybersquat.  all i wanted was a nice name for my blog (yeah, i know what the road to hell is paved with).

phew.  that was frustrating.  i kinda liked franticsundays.  i spent a weekend agonizing, internalizing, pondering, ruminating.  heck, yeah, i spent a weekend thinking about it.

here.

in my happy place.

where i was supposed to stop thinking.

i prolly will have might have to give it up.  because i wouldn't want one of their fans threatening me with bodily harm.  in swedish.  for one thing, i wouldnt understand it.  nothing is more dangerous-sounding than getting threatened with danger in a language you don't understand:  you wouldn't even know you were getting threatened with danger.  that's what's dangerous about it, never mind the actual danger you were getting threatened with in the first place.

and because last i heard, there is no cybersquatting allowed in happy places.
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